me want food

m recovering. still whining and all but the fever's down and my apetite's back. damn, gonna put on. lost quite a fuckload of weight during me illness. but the worse thing is my head's still spinning and i feel tired after walking 10 metres. its really impairing me cuz i just feel like sleepin the entire day. thank god my parents are being uber understanding and are lettin me miss a whole lotta school even without mc but honestly, im not physically strong enuff yet.i just noe. i hope to get back into the full swing of things soon. gosh, promos are cumming, im screwed. aiyah, get promoted can already one la! lol. ya noe, ive developed a fear of mosquitos nowadays, everytime at nite, when i hear buzzing, i scream and my mother has to come and cover me with the blanket. how pathetic rite.. but ive been reduced to this whining, screaming, spoiled brat who's down with dengue. and im having these weird cravings for all kindsa cuisine.

that day i craved for nasi biryani so much and told my parents id faint if i dint get it and so they drove all the way round the east to find an open shop at that hour. lol. and then later at nite, i craved for butter prawns and ramli burger. god! the next day, i was craving for teochew mui so much my mother went to take a taxi to some coffee shop to takeaway back to sick ole me! god, i was beginining to think the mosquito that bit me was pregnant or something and i was inheriting some of the pregnancy craving symptoms.


but dun mosquitos only feast on blood?

feel like dog poop

im now about explain my long and mysterious disappearance from my blog. the whole of last week ive been battling dengue fever. was the worst week of my life, i swear everyday i woke up crying cuz of the pain id have to deal with in the day. i couldnt eat orally, could hardly walk without feelin like collapsing, my head felt like splitting and i was throwing up after every pill i swallowed. my fever was also sky high in the 39 degree range. so i was hospitilised and placed on drips. till now, im still groggy and lethargic but a whole load better. atleast i can eat without vomittin all over.went back to school today with a gazillion MC and hospital documents constituting my entire file. felt like bitchass. i dun think im gonna be gg tmr, the virus still hasnt left me and i still feel paralysed everytime i lie down. but imma pull thru soon.... atleast i hope to! this is gonna cum as a huge surprise to many of me frens not from aj, the cult and all...cuz the whole of last week i didnt call or alert anyone bout me condition. my phone was practically offed the whole wk. to all those aj well-wishers, thanks to u all for ur getwellsoon msgs and concern. and esp to my classmates, thanks fer takin care of me in sch today...

stupid mother fucker of a mosquito!

last of illusions

monday wasnt half as bad as i thought it would be. was dreading having to deal with anything pertaining to that public apology crap. thank god nothin like that happened. my mom told me she talked to my vprincipal and i think ajc sorta realised a public apology was overrated and not to mention, unreasonable on their part?!

anyway, last nite i was totally stressing out on major stuff in my life. had to make crucial decisions and i really sat down and thought about serious shit. like i was thinking about the importance of a strong cca record in jc. at first mention of the pearls system being scrapped, i got myself a slack cca( astronomy club) so that ill have little commitment and i didnt think cca was being regarded highly for uni entry anymore. but since ash got into law with average ABB grades, and a few other straight A students i knew didnt... i knew it was the CCA that helped oodles. (he being in council and drama and all)plus we had a huge talk by the teachers on the imptance of cca. i thought to myself, i didnt wanna lose out to ppl hu did worse than me academically but were more all rounded when it came to the course of my choice. since aj didnt have a dance team i could join, i was considering all the ccas that would possibly admit me this late in the year.. then i thought, netball. ive been playing it in tkg for 4 yrs and the "15 and under" national squad in sec 2 even. and yea the aj team sorta wanted me also at the starta the year but i was so fuckin sick of all the tough trainings and hectic schedules i convinced hanisa to let me off the hook.

but then, that day as i watched them train, i realised..i actually missed the sport.( and my hot . toned figure i used to have when i used to train!lol)got home and shot some hoops in my backyard. not bad. still possessed some typa accuracy. msged hanisa and asked if i could try out for the team and maybe start with recreational netball first. she was like sure thing! but i couldnt join the recre team cuz the coach wanted me to train with the school team straight away this wed. so i could be part of the nationally ranked aj netball team if i just turned up for training on wed. i knew if i did, it would be long term commitment and so i knew instead of impulsively acting upon the chance of a fantastic lookin testimonial and cca record, i hadta think carefully.

didnt help that the fitting and catwalk session for the teen nightlife model search was on wed evening too. was kinda signed up for that already. so i thought and thought. i love modelling and the camera and stuff and this model search was highly regarded. but then i thought even more and realised that if i were to commit myself to demanding netball, id have to balance my grades also and the colossal workload of tutorials. modelling on top of that wud be impossible, literally. but i love it and hu wouldnt want another outlet of cash when ur a shopping lovin 17 yr old.

but, i knew,a pathetic cca record would just be uncalled for. can u imagine muggin ur ass off for the A's. getting those A's and then turned away from the course u want cuz ur cca record wasnt satisfying. i knew if that happened to me, i wouldnt be able to forgive myself. so i knew i had to join the netball team and sacrifice modelling. ive decided to put it off totally till after the A's. cuz i can always go back to it at 18 but i wun be able to re-do my cca. plus netball was one of aj's niche and ranked sports. so i had decided at a quarter to midnight after pacing the living room for the past hour. to those hu might think im blowing up trivial matters, the intensity of netball trainings is really smth to ponder thoroughly abt.. its one of the most demanding woman sports in terms of fitness. so now i have to train my stamina back to the prime it was back in sec 3.

on top of that, there was the econs timed practice test on market structure today and i hadnt really finished studying at all last nite. plus the approaching promos were also at the back of my mind. so much to do, so little time. rayme called at midnightish and i talked to him bout it and he was like "thats a really mature decision" and he commended me on it. i feel that i kinda noe my priorities a lil beta now, and it does rock to noe after serious contemplating and considering of pros and cons, u made a decision thought to be MATURE. felt good.

so i went to sleep, feeling more relieved and secure about where i was in my life and where im headed and i felt a lil more in control. packed my bag. and since i knew i was going back to my sporty days, i changed my school bag to my nike gym bag i used to carry in my netball days. slung it across my shoulders and stared at the mirror. looked right.

Best thing was, the econs timed practice wasnt that difficult after all.

freaky friday

god, i swear today i did justice to the song, "bad day". "bad" prolly is an understatement to describe the crappiness of today. so i wake up, still not fully recovered but reasonably beta and i go to school all groggy cuz of the medication. cum second period, kian and i get called into the vice-principal's office! both of us were like wtf did we do, balls? and then she enlightens us. a week ago me and nihaad ragged kian on his brithday. she smothered him in whipped cream and strawberry sauce and i finished him off with cornflour. totally normal, total birthday treatment. apparently, a few teachers saw and it was unappropriate behaviour in school esp since we were donning the school uniform and so our rash acts were unbecoming of ajcians.

like get a life! i couldnt believe wad i was hearing. kian's one of my best frens in ajc and he totally was cool with wad we did to him and kinda expected it too. plus, we already told him the day before to brace himself for sth messy and so to bring spare uniform. like the v.principal asked me if i had taken into consideration the fact that he mighta been allergic to flour? i almost burst out laughin. the last time i checked kiki was good with flour, along with the other 6 billion ppl of the world. we also cleaned up the mess on our own accord and so they were tryin to find fault with the most unreasonable things like, if u guys had chased him, u mighta fallen and sustained injuries. like please? give me a better case to rebut and not this meaningless, petty and drastically overrated statement.

so i just put up with all that and returned to class. and then we needed to see the head of student affairs to receive our punishment. when i heard wad it was i nearly exploded. PUBLIC APOLOGY. fuck. kanina.like we didnt do damage to anyone and kian was my closeclose fren and he didnt mind , one bit.(actually he enjoyed it as well!) cuz there was this class hu dirtied the entire classroom with flour, cake and water on someone's birthday too and was gonna make a public apology too during the mass civics period. the worst thing was, nihaad didnt cum to sch today and so i was supposed to do it solo on the humungous stage in the titanic auditorium?!!

i felt that it was really unfair and not justified at all. i mean the other apologising party was doin it as a class and so the humiliation was hardly there. so i called my mother and told her everything. she too, along with the masses of the universe(including the alien beings) felt the school was unreasonable and called em up. so during mass civics, the head of student affairs said he had not enuff time to squeeze in my apoogy cuz the programme was too tight. he then said, for my case he will talk to the vice principal and see if i still had to do a public apology.thank u mother for that phonecall! *keeps fingers crossed the public apology doesnt happen*

so on the way home, just as i start to feel relieved i finally get to rest at home, charissa tells me that we have an econs timed practice test on market structure. like thats the chap i noe nuts about! so now, i havta go start mugging. my entire weekend's impaired now. was so lookin forward to havin fun and livin' it up this weekend.

so much for my happy friday.

drugged out

didnt go to school today. fuckin sick. as in the typa sick u feel thru your bones and the type that makes u lethargic and drowsy despite doing nothin but lying around idle.disgusting. my cough has deteriorated to such an atrocious state it'll make an 80 yr old sick lady's cough sound relatively ok.so my doc gave me an mc today and offered one fer tmr but i declined. skippin jc for one day is enuff "catch up homework" hassle to last forever and a day. sorry kian, u had to go thru lessons without ur crappy partner in "self- amusement antics" with u. was sneezing uncontrollably in bed when i received ur sms, "fuck, pang seh me today"..if i had gone to school, baby u would have prolly caught my irritable virus it too...

tmr nite there's the drama i was supposed to go for at tpjc. think im gonna pass on it cuz im uber ill and i wanna recover asap so i still get to enjoy my weekend.sorry nicole, sarah and micch..hav fun anyways! gosh i didnt noe fallin this ill would impair me so much. as im sittin here and typing this, my eyes are half closing and my brain is sorta numb and my chain of thought isnt exactly flowing.

there is, however, one thing i can remember to touch on. ken ken doll.. im really sad u havta leave for msia at the end of august. i honestly had a LOT of fun moments with u... the last time i visited gotham penthouse on monday, i swear the memories were killer. thanks for saving me from doing anything drastic with the "underaged minor" dude. u will always be my babyface and yes, i'll admit that ur spanish eyes are the charm. take care of yourself and the little one and i need to let u noe before u leave that....


THE BAYSHORE WILL NEVER LOOK THE SAME AGAIN.

ps: i'll fedex u ur much anticipated brownie i owe ya.

lets get high

my throat is worse today. probably aggravated by the alcohol last night. so me and the cult arrived at kian's, late as hell looking all gussied up like dolls cuz of our intentions to party at gotham later on. his party at first, was really not a party at all. too quiet and no music and stuff. but later all the "catching up" banter and gossip plus the major delicious food whipped up by mrs tay(his mom) made it a really great private party.exclusivity somewhat. and THEN, came out the bottles. kian has got so much of booze of all sorts it was liberating to just look at his displayed collection. his mom served us everything from the basic absolute vodka to the really really rare icewine only available during certain seasons of the year.

we toasted to everything, from attaining 3 As at the promos to sustaining the health of our dogs. kian's mom saw how much i was devouring the ice wine(it was just so fruity, light and menthol)and gave me a whole bottle to bring home. gosh kian darls, i love ur mom already.

so off we went abt 1/4 tipsy to gotham. it was pure mayhem there. a bout a hundred ppl atleast at the door ticketless. was jam packed. and the cult, being the complacent pple we are, were amongst the ticketless. so many times ashley asked me if i needed tix and i wud always go,"no need, im not sure if im gg and if i am ill just buy at the door." i kinda anticipated this mad influx of underaged jc clubbers at gotham cuz gotham parties are by far the reigning ones.so we decided to get our arses to another party at coco latte. dragged ikawat along. this thai bloke has gotten so much hotter since the last time ive seen him.

so coco latte was aiight, not that fab but i had fun. i didnt noe cranberry vodka was so good. i think i should order it more from now.

so alas, u ppl posses knowledge pertaining to the brief history of my unfortunate sore throat. part2. part1 was in the previous post and not a result of alcohol, to say the least. oh yea, how could i forget. happy national day and hopefully u guys get to experience many more nat days here before u migrate ur ass off to some other foreign land.

cough syrup by the bedside

messy hair.pyjama shirt.short boxers.teary eyes. that's right i just got up. feeling a lil under the weather with my trickling sore throat. so , thankfully, school was a miss. wasn't exactly in the ajc national day celebrations mood. no more excessive weekend making out for the sake of my throat.but he was real good...one of the best ive tried. hamham called in the morning to call off today's afternoon plans cuz he also contracted some throat thingie and his voice is all raspy and shit. major busted.

so anyhow, last nite i think i experienced a panic attack. it was hard to breathe, literally and my throat was itching and i just felt this immense amt of tension. i guess i was just so sick of certain ways and things in my life i had to constantly undergo and i was kinda pms-ey also. that didnt help at all. so my way of dealing with stress...sleep! just crashed to the sheets and the rest was hazy and more or less dreamless.

today afternoon. more calls. kian with his dilemma..poor baby, i really hope u cheer up and have fun tonite since its ur bday partay and all. then...talked to jill on the phone. gosh , it has been ages since i caught up with this bitch. she immediately put me in a better mood. convinced her to tag along to kian's house tonight and in return, ill do gotham with her. then nicole rang...she is still the same motherly, sexed up, & helluva fun fren she was the last time i crashed her crib. wanted me and jill to join her and jiapei in town. jill and i, however, have this policy that if we're partying at nite, we have to rest and re-charge for the entire day to assuage our insecurities such as tired looking eyes or color-drained faces later in the night. we love to look our hottest every party. which gurl wouldn't. so sorry nic babe. but we're still meetin u at kian's crib aye?

suddenly , i dun feel that empty anymore. perhaps it's cuz its been long since me and my ladies from the cult have planned stuff. miss u loads gurls. or maybe it's just that it's not until thurs that ill have to come close to aj's mundane premises. either way, im just glad im feelin a tad bit more complete now.